I Don't Believe In Miracles Or Any Sort of God

I was editing a post recently about my eyesight and mentioned in there that I don’t believe in miracles. I thought I would expand on those thoughts a little here.

The start of it was when I was very young. I realized how religion in general just seems so nonsensical. If that stuff exists, why do so many people suffer? I have always known of people that were abused badly as a child. It should not have been, but it was.

When my dad had his heart attacks, I was probably the first one to give up and want to disconnect life support. He was brain dead. He was not going to suddenly sit up and be fine. Stuff like that doesn’t happen, and it’s not possible.

It wasn’t like I felt it should be done right away, but I didn’t want it to be an indefinite thing. Of course my mom and my brothers needed to be okay with it. I don’t believe he would want to be kept alive when there’s no chance.

When my last cornea graft failed, I was the same way. It recovered for a couple of years and then eventually just became cloudy. I can remember sitting in the room at the eye hospital talking to the doctor about odds and stuff. I asked him if there were risks to me not getting another one for any future options, and he said no, so I thanked him and chose not to get another transplant.

I remember telling him there are other people who need it more than me. He actually said he respects me for saying that.

Back when I was dealing with my thyroid cancer stuff, I had people saying they were praying for me or hoping that there was a miracle and it wasn’t cancer. The thing is I had the mutation, so it was essentially impossible for me to not have it. I had gotten the genetic test verifying I had the gene before it was removed.

I think it has helped me learn to just deal with things as they are instead of always wanting the impossible. Perfect vision is just not something I will ever have. My thyroid won’t miraculously grow back. If you would ask me my honest opinion, I mostly thrive despite the eye thing.

If you believe in that stuff, certainly keep on believing. That is for you to decide. I am not here to tell anyone what they should or should not believe, and I would expect the same from others in return.